Patience is not a strength of mine…
For nearly two months I’ve had a great conviction to remove the word “finally” from my vocabulary. I’ve heard, “Be patient, Kaci. Either you trust my timing to be perfect, or you do not.”
And again…. “Either you trust my timing to be perfect, or you do not.”
Ten months ago, on October 13, 2015, we drove away from the Kennedy Krieger Institute in Baltimore as I had an emotional breakdown. A spot had miraculously opened up for our daughter in their inpatient neuro-behavioral unit (NBU) only two days before my husband was returning to work. For two years leading up to that date our daughter’s self-injurious and aggressive behaviors had progressively increased as she was growing bigger, stronger, and faster. I could no longer physically control her alone and after three years and ten months of having two adults in the house to handle her, I had no clue what I would do when he returned to work. I was afraid. I was angry at God. I felt abandoned, forgotten, and betrayed. But He provided exactly what we needed at the exact time that we needed it. I could not question His timing. It was perfect.
These ten months have been long and hard, but Sofija is doing miraculously well. We don’t know the exact date she will come home yet, but today…
For those who know her and who’ve witnessed the road we’ve been down. You know that this is HUGE! A year ago she was in that same seat when she had a meltdown, kicking me and the dash and busting the steering column. Today, she had a PERFECT outing to “Old McDonald’s” with the man who loves her more than life. No restraints. No team of people riding along “just in case”. Just a girl and her Daddy on a date.
It’s not a “finally”. It’s a day to just say, “Thanks, God.”
Ten months is a LONG TIME to drive more than 70 miles, each way, every other day, to see our child. But in between the drives, we’ve had a much-needed season of rest. We’ve had a season of healing.
That face-full-of-joy ^^^ It is beautiful and perfect and worth every minute of the wait.
We’re still waiting on some big things in our lives. Retirement, new jobs, a new home, a move to a new state, and our baby girl coming home; will all happen over the next 6-8 weeks. There is no certain plan or timing for any of it, but we’re waiting… and we’re trusting.
Whatever it is that you’re waiting on right now. Just know that when it comes, the timing will be perfect. It’s not a “finally”. It’s just a moment to say, “Thanks, God.”
And thank YOU for praying for our family.