fixing my lack of compassion…

holding pattern

We live right along the flight path for Reagan Airport.  Quite often planes on that path are put in a holding pattern before they land.  I know this because when they start circling in their holding pattern, their lights shine directly into our family room.

I’ve been on many flights in my life that were placed in a holding pattern before they could land.  It’s never fun not knowing how long I will wait to arrive at a destination that I can see out of my window.

With my clear knowledge of what a “holding pattern” looks like, you would think I would have had some compassion for my husband in the last two years and four months as he has repeatedly described his work situation as just that.  Yeah.  Not so much.

The definition of compassion is: “a feeling of deep sorrow for another who is stricken with misfortune, accompanied by the strong desire to alleviate the suffering.”  Like I said, when it comes to dealing with my husband, “Not so much.”  I’ve pretty much had the attitude and probably voiced a few times that he just needs to get over it and live his life.

Compassion is an integral part of Christianity. I found more than 20 scriptures that demonstrate Christ’ compassion.  If I’m going to call myself a “follower of Christ” that means I need to learn to have some compassion.

Fast forward to the last few weeks.  I’ve been in my own holding pattern.  Waiting on my insurance to approve referrals, then waiting for appointments, then waiting on results.  I’m still waiting.  Today has been nine days since my uterine biopsy and I still know nothing.  I’ve called.  I’ve messaged.  I’ve called the patient advocate.  Still nothing.  For the record: I’m losing my flippin’ mind.  You might just want to stay away from me until you read that I have some results.

Which leads to my husband…

I’m sorry, Dear.  Nine days have just about pushed me over the edge.  I have no clue how you’ve endured TWENTY-EIGHT MONTHS of uncertainty.  I get it now.  I really do.  And I appreciate you not losing your flippin’ mind in this process.

Psalm 46:10  “Be still and know that I am God…”

Yeah, yeah, yeah.  I got it, God.

 

6 thoughts on “fixing my lack of compassion…

  1. Thanks for sharing Kaci. Millions can relate. There’s beauty in waiting. I pray you are able make the most of it. And that in the midst of this holding pattern, you sense God holding you in His Arms. James 1:2-4 comes to mind- consider it pure joy…Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete not lacking anything! It almost sounds mocking, but I believe there’s something to this Kingdom dichotomy. Love you guys so much and praying for y’all.

  2. Clearly, we were separated at birth. Because I’ve got a husband who’s been in a holding pattern with work (which I’ve DEFINITELY voiced my annoyance about!) and I’ve been waiting on some issues with my medical insurance approving a treatment for me and it’s just wait wait wait. Thank you for connecting the two issues together for me. That will help when my husband comes home tonight, frustrated, and I want to launch into [insert non-compassionate wife comments here]. 🙂 Glad we connected round-about-ly through Mary DeMuth’s post.

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